Sir Imp’s Herald – August 2019 – Issue #2
Greetings, Dungeoneers
Allow me to introduce myself. I am Sir Impius Lucifius Cornelius Nox III, though my title is irrelevant while I am a denizen of this “material” plane. While the ever-roaring flames of the world below were pleasant enough, I felt distant from my peers… I couldn’t relate to them despite my best efforts. I desperately longed for the finer things in afterlife.
It wasn’t until I met the humans at Dirt Cheap Dungeons that my uniquely exquisite style was realized. They gifted me a monocle and suggested I grow out my mustache, and while they are among some of the strangest mortals I’ve ever encountered, they accept me for who I am.
Well, for the most part.
You see, it is still within my nature to fill each available moment of their lives with mayhem. I reveled in every opportunity to wreak havoc on them, as per my customs, to demonstrate my appreciation. I fear that these intentions were misinterpreted, for the DCD mortals have magically bound me to the task of maintaining their monthly newsletter in an attempt to “reign me in.” Unless the spell is somehow nullified, I expect that I will be observing, recording, and translating their antics into this convenient form for you to view until I outlive them all. Until then, I shall do my best to bring a little class into your monthly DCD update. Keep reading… it all begins below.
-Sir Imp
URGENT – SHIPPING UPDATE
I am told that it is now August, the 8th month of your calendar year and the month in which you are anticipating the arrival of your Dirt Cheap Dungeons goods. Thus, it is vital to inform you of our progress in this regard.
For this topic, the DCDG (Dirt Cheap Dungeons Guild) has put together a statement for you addressing shipping.
“Greetings, Dungeoneers!
As many of you have surmised in following us, we are a small production company here in Oregon and we are very enthusiastic about our RPGs. We are appreciative that so many of you joined and supported our Kickstarter and continue to support us!
Time for a production and shipping update!
As you know, we believe transparency and honesty is the best policy. And, gosh darn it, we love you and you deserve it!
Firstly, we would like to reassure our followers that, unlike some Kickstarters, we are not suffering any effects of the Tariffs because our products are manufactured in the USA.
As you may already know, after our Kickstarter was funded, our new building needed some electrical upgrades that took much longer than expected due to Facebook’s shenanigans in our area. We used that time to upgrade the product line. Everything you’ve ordered is now more aesthetic, functional, and/or durable than before, and we think they were already pretty great to start with.
Currently, our acrylic product lines are coming along very well. By mid-August, for the various Monster Horde Tokens, the inventory needed to fulfill all of the Kickstarter orders will be finished and ready to ship. We may even start selling these on Amazon in September, but of course, satisfying our Kickstarter backers is our first priority at this stage.
Unfortunately, our injection molded products (Modular Wall Sets) are coming along more slowly. One of our primary machines recently suffered a hydraulic malfunction. Our engineer/machinist and a local millwright have been doing double shifts and weekends trying to fix it, while at the same time designing and making the complex molds for the other machines. Additionally, we have partnered with a local workshop in order to punch out your Dungeon Wall pieces.
Whether or not that primary machine is fixed soon, our other machines will be able to pick up the ‘slack’ but have taken additional time to get set up with the new complex molds. As of the end of next week we’ll have 3 additional fast injection molders running concurrently rather than just the primary malfunctioning one. As such, we are now looking at shipping our Modular Dungeon Wall Sets in October.
As such, we are breaking up the shipments and intend to send the various products out as they are finished. We’ll be sending out the various Monster Tokens first, then the Modular Dungeons Sets, and lastly the stretch goal items. We so appreciate your patience, that we are doing this ‘gratis’ – this will be at NO additional shipping cost to you. We are happy to take on this expense so we can join your table as soon as possible.
So, those of you that have ordered multiple products from us may be receiving the products in multiple shipments rather than all at once. We’ll get them to you as the various products are finished.
A glimpse to the future: since this is our first endeavor of this scale, there has been a learning curve that we are now much more acquainted with. Once the KS orders are sent out and we are selling this product line on Amazon, we will be starting up another Kickstarter of expansion sets and additional products, likely in 2020. And since the equipment and production process is better understood now, delays on delivering future products is unlikely – save for acts of gods. ?
Thank you again for being our party members, especially those of you who have been here since Level 1. We are looking forward to making you great things for years to come.
-The DCDG”
No matter what my colleagues say, I was in no way responsible for the hydraulic malfunction in the machine. I may be mischievous, but I’m not evil.
Ok, I’m evil, but I’m not that evil.
You believe me, don’t you?
UPGRADES
#1 – MONSTER HORDE TOKENS
It is still unclear to me why the magicians in the DCDG call themselves “engineers,” but one of their most recent transmutations has been imbued upon the Monster Horde Tokens. With a little hocus-pocus and a lot of Intelligence checks, the monsters on the tokens you all love are sharper and the images are even more solid than before.
The images are so clear, in fact, one might think the souls of the creatures are trapped in the acrylic, watching for an opportunity to enter onto this plane. Of course I jest- especially where the Imp tokens are concerned. *snicker*
#2 – The Cursed Echoes
Production on the thrilling adventure that you’ve all been waiting for is nearly complete. An ISBN has been acquired, and hardcover options are in the works. Noel Rose, the writer, has been working consistently and wearing multiple hats throughout the process, and the entire DCDG has been vital in editing, formatting, and play-testing.
Editing and formatting an entire book is a new endeavor to the DCDG, and they are excited to share the end result with you. This journey will compliment DCD’s Modular Wall Sets, but can be played on its own as well.
I would like to note that while there are Imps in this story, not all of us are so ill-mannered. Please keep this in mind as you roll for initiative.
– art cred: Craig Smoothy –
#3 – Aerial Stands
Up until recently, the DCDG wasn’t sure how to improve upon the perfection of the Aerial Stands. Then they had a revelation. Now, not only are the aerial stands stackable, but they are now connectable. As Jason (Junior Engineer) demonstrates in the attached video, you can now move a tower of several aerial stands across the board with ease. The sky is, quite literally, the limit.
Perhaps I’m a little biased given my glorious wingspan, but I believe that the power of flight is a force to be reckoned with. Even by my sky-high standards, DCDG’s upgraded Aerial Stands receive Sir Imp’s stamp of approval.
CONVENTIONS
Meet the DCDG in person and get hands-on with their wares!
lliant Energy Energy Center
Madison, WI
October 31- November 3, 2019
~
Until next month, my friends. Thank you for reading, and please, if you come across a spellbook, enchanted scroll, or a vision from a deity that promises the breakage of this bond I’m under, send it my way.
Stay dapper, Dungeoneers.
